#Gothic Freakin' Annoying Questions

So, just what is #gothic anyway?

On the surface, #gothic is an efnet IRC channel which is a haven for all things dark and depressing. In reality, #gothic is a home to all kinds of people - goths, punks, cheerleaders, farm boys from desert planets, 'navians, ninjas, golf pros, BoFHs, Star Wars fans, and skateboarders. (It's not a skateboard, it's a purse!)

You've lost me there. What's IRC?

IRC is the ultimate evil. A fiendish ploy spawned my extradimensional aliens to cripple the combined brainpower of earth in preparation for a military takeover. To find out more about how you too can sell your soul to the dark gods of IRC, take a look at www.irchelp.org.

I joined the channel, but someone /kicked me!

Yes, they did.

But why? I didn't do anything. That was just mean.

There are any number of reasons for that to have happened. The truth is that /kicking is a fact of life on #gothic. Remember that this is the single largest and most visible gothic channels on the net -- When Kurt and Ram get all liquored up and ask "Where the gothic women at?", they're not going to go trolling #gawth or #altgothic. It's #gothic that they're gunning for.

For that reason, #gothic has a certain defensive attitude when it comes to newcomers. The channel operators (and there are a lot of them) are constantly having to /kick and even ban people who are flooding, trolling, cloning, nuking, idling, or just generally being a pain. After a few months of this, even the most tolerant and forgiving ops can get a bit jaded.

God_Eater has prepared a handy survival guide which tries to explain some of the more common reasons behind the senseless violence on #gothic. (Ever watch The Gong Show? Just curious.)

In no particular order, here are five common reasons for being /kicked:

1. Stupid Nicks -- We have certain standards. No "ArseMonky"s, no "WaNkRg0tH"s, no "RevManson" and no Vampires of any kind. (Take it to #vampires, down the hall, second door on the right.)
2. Refusing to type full words -- Every keystroke you have ever saved by typing "R U M r F?" will be returned to you threefold in /kick messages.
3. Cruisin' fer Chicks -- This is #gothic, not a singles bar. If you're looking for some under-13 pr0n, ask Weaselboy. take it somewhere else.
4. Wrong Place, Wrong Time -- Sometimes the channel just comes under invasion from scarier parts of the world. When that happens, the operators need to take strong measures to fight it, such as making the channel moderated (only certain users may speak), invite only (only certain users may join) or flat out /kicking anyone who looks like part of the problem. Sorry.
5. PMS - Post Macintosh Stress Disorder -- Sometimes the ops do just wig out. Maybe you have the same nick as an ex-SO who ran off with all the CDs, or maybe you asked "How's your cat?" when the poor thing was just put to sleep. Or maybe you're just on the same channel or coming from the same domain as one of somebody's stalkers. Either way, you've just become guilty by association.

But I still don't understand? I've been kicked, and I don't know what to do!

Rejoin the channel. If that doesn't work, perhaps you've been kicked for one of the reasons listed here -- perhaps a change of nick or a few hours with Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing are in order.

If that doesn't turn up any ideas, then it wouldn't hurt to send a polite /msg to one of the channel ops ("Why was I kicked? Did I do something wrong?"). (Of course, it probably would hurt to send an impolite message such as "You're such a ----- -- ----, you -------- ---- ------!!! You have SOO messed with the wrong person, I'm gonna blow your ------- --- off the ------- internet if you don't let me back on!" That sort of thing can get you laughed at, banned, or even /killed should you try to follow through on such childish threats.)

Well, yeah, but that op who /kicked me is a real dork.

Yes, (s)he is.

What sort of things do you talk about on #gothic?

Almost everything. From Gilligan's Island to particle physics, from which of the Spice Girls is hottest to lessons in conversational Swedish. Every now and then we slip up and talk about computers or IRC or even gawthity-goth stuff, but there is no rulebook which states what can or cannot be discussed. When the channel started, we had a six month long discussion about the care and feeding of pointy toed boots and who had the biggest collection of Bauhaus bootlegs, but that got pretty tired, and besides, The Brave Little Toaster is way more interesting.

Do you talk about Manson a lot?

Yes, I love Garbage.

Does #gothic have a home page?

It does now.

Who's "Grufti"? Why does everybody like him so much?

Grufti is our bot. He's the doorman and the barkeep, knows all our favourite songs and remembers our birthdays. He's even a remarkably cheap date if he's in the right mood. Grufti is so gosh-darn special to us that he deserves his own page.

Cool. Where can I get the source code for Grufti?

If you can't find the answer to that question on your own, then you don't deserve such a fine bot. The code is available, but you won't find it here. Why not find the right people and ask them?

Do you realize that this is possibly the least helpful FAQ ever written?

Hey, everybody needs something to aspire to.

Dork.

Jerk.

Tramp.

Slut

Bitch.

Can't accesorize.

...

You've missed so much in this FAQ... Is that because you're a bonehead?

Hey, I only spent six hours designing this entire page, and most of that was on the opening graphics. If you have any comments or suggestions for this FAQ, feel free to send them to me.

Why don't you update this FAQ more often?

Oh, man... What do you people expect? Content?

[The author can be reached via email at midnight@neverwhen.net or through Grufti-note as Minuit@grufti.bot]